Leveled Up Friendships
Leveled Up Friendships is a show for adults who want richer, more meaningful friendships — but sense that something about their relationships isn’t quite working the way they hoped.
Maybe conversations feel surface-level. Maybe you’re always the one reaching out. Maybe a friendship feels tense, draining, or confusing and you’re not sure why. Or maybe you simply want friendships that are deeper, more honest, and more supportive than the ones you currently have.
On this show, host Zoe Asher explores the real dynamics behind adult friendships — the unspoken expectations, awkward conversations, misunderstandings, emotional blind spots, and growth moments that shape our relationships.
Through honest reflection, practical questions, and real-life examples, Zoe helps listeners become more self-aware and intentional in how they show up as a friend. Because the fastest way to improve your friendships isn’t trying to change everyone around you — it’s learning how to level up the kind of friend you are.
Episodes explore topics like navigating difficult conversations, repairing strained friendships, recognizing one-sided dynamics, reconnecting with old friends, setting healthy expectations, and building friendships that can handle honesty and growth.
If you’ve ever wondered:
-Why do some friendships fade while others grow stronger?
-Why do certain relationship patterns keep repeating?
-How do you build friendships that actually last?
You’re in the right place.
Because great friendships don’t happen accidentally. They level up when we do.
www.accidentallyintentional.com . To contact the podcast and/or request a booking for Zoe to be on your show or speak at your event, please email: contact@leveledupfriendships.com
Leveled Up Friendships
Summer Stories with Zoe | How I Became A Stuntwoman
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
I started working on film sets in 2010...but in 2016, my career in the Hollywood film industry took a very unexpected twist, when I became a professional stuntwoman. Though an extremely unconventional approach - chasing my actual dream of working for Disney in any capacity - I share how that pursuit led me to something so much wilder than I could have EVER imagined! Join me on this final Summer Story with Zoe for 2021, and let me tell you what God did!
For the video version of this episode, head to the Accidentally Intentional YouTube channel!
Join the conversation and follow along on Instagram! I respond to DM's! Let's converse! Say hi, or share your biggest takeaways! I'm all ears! @accidentallyintentional or @zoeasher
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email contact@leveledupfriendships.com (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
So last time on the podcast, I shared the story of how I broke in to the Hollywood film industry. But this time, I'm going to share a completely different story though, same topic. Today, I'm talking about how I became a professional stunt woman, and how I never imagined that this would happen to me. It wasn't even something I ever thought would be in the cards for me, quite frankly. I mean, I remember as a senior in college, I was taking a screenwriting class and I did write a script for a girl who became a professional stunt woman. But honestly, that story was inspired by my brother's dream, because after I worked on the movie, I Am Number Four, which I talked about in the previous episode, my brother became obsessed with stunt guys. And he decided he wanted to be one when he grew up, but me, never in a million years, could I have guessed, this would be my story. It's January 1 2016. And I decide that I'm going to name this year, my year of fearlessness, which means I'm going to apply to jobs that would take me anywhere, not just in Pittsburgh, where it was comfortable, where I'm used to, and where my entire family and friend group is. No, I'm gonna go wherever I want now. So of course, I have my eyes set on working for Disney. So I'm applying for jobs in Disney in Orlando, Florida, in California, in New York, anywhere in the country where Disney has jobs. I'm applying for them to start the year, after two weeks of throwing a ton of applications. at Disney, I hear absolutely nothing. And I talked to an insider who shares with me that there's basically no chance that I'm going to get a job working for Disney at my age, because they have all the Disney College Program students that they need to find jobs for who wants to continue their work with Disney after their internship. But then the one piece of advice they did give me was, though you might not get in that way. There is one way that you can get in and work for Disney. And I said, Okay, well, hello. That's what I've been looking for this whole time. And that person said to me, what you need to do simply is get into Disney through audition. And I was like, what I mean, I'm excited. I love auditions. But what are you talking about? And they said, basically, the only way you can become a Disney newcomer, and get in at this point is through audition as a character for a show. If you can do any of that, you should audition. So just like that, I go to Disney auditions.com And I start scrolling through the list. Manju, this is mid January, okay. And my eyes immediately stop. Because 10 days later, from the date that I'm looking at the computer screen in front of me, I see Indiana Jones stunt spectacular auditions, and my heart starts to race. Because I'm like, this would be the coolest thing ever having no stunt experience. Okay, now, what I did have was a black belt in American Akito. And as I was looking at the list in the sheet for what they were looking for, they said no stunt experience was necessary. So I thought to myself, Okay, well, what if I just try and audition for the show, because if you've ever been to Disney, chances are you have seen the show. It's incredible. And I am a big Indiana Jones fan. So this now became my dream, I want to be in this Indiana Jones stunt show, I want to play the part of Marian in the show, boom, just like that I had my eyes fixed on a goal. And I was gonna go after it. Now I had 10 days to train for this role, which made this quite a whirlwind. So basically, within six hours of seeing this audition, go live, I decided I'm going to start training, I'm going to book a flight, I'm going to fly to Orlando to audition for the show 10 days later after seeing the post and we are going to do this thing. So right after I booked my flights, and I'm deciding to start training, I have to know what I'm going to be training for. So I find out that round one, two, and three of the audition look like this round one, you need to be able to do 10 Pull Ups and a rope climb. Round two. It's a fight choreography sequence. Round three, you read the script for the role, boom, bam, boom, okay, well, I have a lot of work that I need to do in 10 days time, because, as of this moment, I am only able to do four pull ups in 2016. And that's not gonna work. So I immediately started doing as many pull ups as I could until failure, basically all day long. And honestly, that started working for me about four days into this 10 day window of training. I think I was able to do up to eight pull ups by that point. So I was feeling pretty confident about that. I also knew I needed to figure out how to do a rope climb. So I went to a local gym. Now this is where the story takes a turn. Because I'm at this local gym, and I decide this is my moment to practice the rope climb so I know what I'm doing. looking real good for the Disney audition and I watch a YouTube Do obviously How else would I learn how to do it because nobody else was in the gym at the time. And so I got it, I understand what I'm doing. I'm ascending the ascent was perfect. The descent, on the other hand back down was not because I was about eight feet from the bottom. When my right arm slips, leaving my left arm to pull, yank the whole weight of my body that it's holding on to at that point, and basically, I after that lurching feeling in my shoulder, I released in dropped to the ground, because it had felt like someone lit a match and threw it into my shoulder and I was screaming in pain. I'd never been in so much pain in my life, I am sobbing, and I like drove home, the gym was only five minutes away. And, you know, thankfully, my dad is a chiropractor, but he's also a sports certified physician. So he was able to take a look at it and was like, okay, yes, something is not normal here. So I'm devastated. Because in my mind, I'm mentally already thinking, I'm not even going to pass round one of these auditions in round two and three is where I was feeling confident, because round two, I can fight. That's what my black belts for round three, I can read a script, I'm ready to do this. But I'm not even going to get there. Because the shoulder pain might be taking me out. Basically, my dad starts to do some treatment on me and tells me that I'm not allowed to do anything, any pull ups for three days time, which he didn't need to tell me that because I was in searing pain anytime I lifted my left arm. And I'm just absolutely crushed. And, you know, at one point, when my dad was treating me treating my shoulder, I said, I'm just sobbing. And I'm saying, Dad, there's no way I'm going to be able to go like, this is such a waste. Like, I'm not gonna get it. And my dad looked at me and said, XO, you have to go anyways, you committed to this. You got to nonrefundable plane ticket, you already have the plans, just go anyways. And I was so frustrated because I'm mentally thinking, I'm gonna make a fool out of myself. When I get down there to the auditions. And they're like, Okay, do you 10 bullets and like, I actually can't raise my arm sell. I'm great. Those three days passed. So now it's day, I have two days left before I fly down for the audition, I think at this point, and I cannot do a regular pull up. But I can bicep it. So flip the grip, and I think I can get about four. So I know for a fact, I am out round one of these auditions. And I haven't even flown down to do the audition. yet. So things are looking like it's a lost, cause. But wait, there's more. Because I ended up flying down to Disney anyways to do exactly what I intended to do. And that was audition and get that experience. Regardless, the auditions were at 9am on a Saturday morning in January in Florida. And there's about 80 of us waiting outside the gymnastics building where the auditions were held, and all the Disney casting agents were there as well. We're all still standing out there. It's 910. Everyone's like, Okay, well, whatever guess they're running late. Not a big deal. But then it's 930. And we're still out there. And the auditions were supposed to start at nine and be done by 12. So this is weird. Everyone's just kind of mingling talking themselves. But we're all wondering what the heck is going on 945 10 o'clock, we hear from one of the Disney casting agency gets our attention. He says, Hey, guys, I just want to say I am so sorry. We do these auditions down here every six months. And we have never had issues before. But for some crazy reason this time, the gymnastics studio didn't seem to know that we were going to be here there was a miscommunication. They're running late. They're on the way here now. But as a result, the auditions are going to be cut a little bit shorter. So everyone gets a first round bye. In the auditions. Now let me explain what this meant. In this moment. I literally looked up to heaven, and said, God, you actually did that for me. Because I wasn't going to be able to do the 10 pull ups or the rope climb anyways. And God said, Girl, it is okay. We're gonna push that out to the side. So in the first time in history of Disney auditions, people get a first round bye for the stunts, which means everyone automatically enters at round two, which is the fight choreography. Now we learn about an eight to 12 Beat choreography set which eight to 12 Beat means movements, basically. And I thought I was doing great. But I actually wasn't And I found out afterwards, so I ended up getting cut on round two, which really shocked me because I was confident about that one, I was like, I can fight you, this is gonna be good. But I decided afterwards to actually go up to one of the casting agents and just ask for feedback. And I said, Hey, I really want this role. Can you tell me if you remember watching me? What can I do better? And he said, Yeah, actually, I do remember watching you, because we were able to tell that you immediately have a self defense background, I was like, okay, the good, he said, You're extremely tight, and controlled. But in stunts, you have to open your body, everything has to be really dramatic. And so that would be what you need to work on is the acting, of fighting. And so I thanked him profusely, because that was so helpful to me, especially because this is exactly what I was going for, is this role in the show. So let's fast forward to April of 2016. My shoulder pain doesn't really go away, but it stays at bay, at least that flare up, and then it kind of died down a little bit. So in April, I reached out to a couple of stunt friends that I knew who had done stunts in movies that came to Pittsburgh, and I said, Hey, I am trying to audition and get the role of Marian in the Indiana Jones stunt show in Disney. And now the auditions every six months. So I'm going to be going back down in June, can you teach me how to stunt fight? And the guy replied with oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I actually moved to LA. But tomorrow, in Pittsburgh, there's actually a meet and greet with the stunt coordinator of a new TV show in Pittsburgh, you should go to that. And ask him all your questions. And it was like, Well, what timing of me asking. So I planned and I was like, Yes, I'm gonna go to that meet and greet. I'm gonna ask this guy these questions. Yes, he's gonna help me fight. That's gonna be it. Done. Done. That's what I thought was gonna happen. I get there the next morning to this meet and greet with the stunt coordinator. And thankfully, I'm like, dressed in a athleisure attire. And I brought a talent resume just because I didn't know what I was getting myself into. And it was a good thing I did, because this meet and greet was actually a blind audition for the TV show. The Outsiders that was going to be on WGN. America, there were over 100 people that were there for it. And I had about 15 minutes notice. Before I was going to be auditioning for a TV show doing stunts, though I've never actually done stunts before. Now normally, this is where the anxiety would kick in. Because I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I have no idea what I was doing. But in some strange turn of events. It was the calmest I had ever been. Because I'm thinking I'm not here to audition for a show. I'm just here to talk to the stunt coordinator so that I can audition for the Indiana Jones Show in Disneyworld. So that's my goal that I'm not here for this. I'm not here for this TV show. Okay, well, basically, it becomes my turn in line. And they're like, Hey, what's your name? Hey, my name's XO, blah, blah, blah, they look at my talent resume. They're like, Oh, you can you can hip hop dance, and you can fight? And I was like, Yes, I can. And they said, Okay, great. Can you show us a little dance? Now, mind you, this would be fun. In a normal scenario, this was not a normal scenario, I was in bare feet, with no music on a gym floor. So all things were not working in my favor when it comes to hip hop dancing. So I'm just like beatboxing to my own, like, click in my head. And I'm like, dancing through it. And they're like, Oh, great. Yeah. We just wanted to see your footwork, that's perfect. And they said, Okay, so you have self defense background? Can you do some shadow boxing for us? So I'm like, Yeah, let's, let's go. I do some shadow boxing for them. And I'm just thinking, this is procedure. When do I get to ask them questions like about this for the meet and greet? And they said, Can you do a header and I said, What? And the stunt assistant begins to pull out a huge mat that's about six inches thick, onto the ground and proceeds to do a front flip, jumping onto it and landing on his back. And I have done a front flip before on the trampoline. This is not a trampoline. So under my breath, I said, Lord, please protect me. And I attempt to do a header and land on my back and apparently nail it. So they're like, Okay, that's well done. That's great. And then they said, Can you do a butterfly twist? And I said, Okay, I have no idea. Get what that is. And this butterfly twist. If you're watching it on YouTube, then I'll show you exactly what it is. But basically, it's a movie that you would recognize Jackie Chan does all the time in movies, where he goes like this. And he spins his body. So he like jumps, spends his body this way, and then comes back down on the ground. So I butcher that completely. That's her. And just because they had no idea what I was doing, but the stunt coordinator said, Oh, those, I think you got the hang of it. I think I think you're on to and I was like, Okay, great. And I'm just like, okay, when can I ask him questions? And I'm, it's slowly sinking in. I'm not going to be asking him questions, because there's so many people in line behind me. But he asks me some more questions, all of which I'm thinking are protocol at this point? And he said, Are you part of the sag AFTRA union? Being the Screen Actors Guild? And I said, No. And he said, Would you be willing to join? And I say, yes. Because I'm thinking done, of course, I'd want to be in the Screen Actors Guild union, not realizing there's a cost behind that. He's like, okay, great. Super. Yeah. Well, thanks a lot. I'm just like, dang it. I didn't get to learn anything. But something interesting happened. Because as I was walking by, I was like, thank you guys so much. The stunt assistant pushed his chair back and said, Hey, so life's full of surprises, huh? And I'm like, Yeah, I have no idea what he's talking about at all, at all. So I'm just like, that was weird. And then something happened. An hour later, after I left the audition. I get a phone call from a California number. And a pickup. Hello. Hey, Zo. This is Eric from the outsiders TV show. Oh, Hi, Eric. Hey, we loved your audition. And we actually wanted to select you to be one of the 20 people that we've chosen this summer to train, and Taft Hartley into the sag AFTRA union to become a stunt woman and be in one of the scenes in the TV show. I just got cast in a TV show as a stunt performer not doing any stunts whatsoever what the heck is a Taft Hartley now let me explain what's half tartly is a Taft Hartley is a very unique situation. That happens in the film industry, where basically a movie set writes to the sag union and says, Hey, we need you to make this person part of the union because we need them to be in the scene. So it's a very valuable move for anybody that that happens to because that is your ticket in to the industry. This quote unquote Meet and Greet became the Blind Audition that ended up allowing me to get 250 hours of stunt training, as I prepared for now, this TV show to be on WGN America to do the opening scene for the season two, opener of the show. Now, I begin training at the end of April through May, and June. And now I go back down to Disney in June, for the Indiana Jones stunt show auditions, which is really what I'm trying to get now with two months of stunt training under my belt, and I'm a SAG AFTRA member as well. This is not sidenote, if you've been thinking this whole time, well, what happened to her shoulder? Well, basically, I was taking 1000 milligrams of extra strength Tylenol, along with Tiger bombing my shoulder for every four hour practice, we would have five days a week throughout the summer to prepare for the TV show because we were throwing up to 2500 punches a day, I was shredding my shoulders apart. But stunts was what I was now super passionate about. So I was willing to do whatever. So now I'm going back down to Disney and I'm auditioning for the Indiana Jones Show. Again, Round one starts of the auditions. And we know it's the 10 pull ups. I do the 10 pull ups, which was awesome. It felt so good to be able to do then round two happens and that's where the fight choreography is supposed to begin and now that I've been studying fight choreography and I've been doing stunt training for two months. I am like I have got this Well, again, another twist in the story because after round one, I along with a another girl who was also blond, my height but 15 pounds more of just complete muscle. We get pulled aside. They are talking to both of us and they said Hey, girls like your you look great so far. Just wanted to tell you unfortunately, you are too tall. For the role of Marian she needs to be about five four, or shorter five to five, four, and we're both five seven And I'm like, real upset. hearing this news, as you can imagine, because they didn't say that they didn't say anywhere that what the height requirements were before everybody flew down to audition for the show. So I'm kind of crushed in that moment. And they said, but yeah, but like, tell us a little about a little bit about yourself. And so they turned to her first. And she's like, Yeah, I currently play Blackwidow on the Marvel Universe live Stunt Show. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, who is standing next to me? And I'm like, saying, No, I didn't actually say that. But I'm just immediately feeling impostor syndrome, like, what the heck am I gonna say? And so I ended up telling the truth and say, Yeah, I am training for the TV show outsiders and I'm in the sag union. And they're like, Wow, great, really impressive. But yeah, unfortunately, we can't continue with your audition. Because you're, you're not the right size for the role. And she's like, okay, great. Thanks. And she had flown from Colorado. So I can imagine she was pretty upset as well. But she goes away. And they stopped me. And they say, Hey, we just wanted to ask you a question real quick. And I'm like, okay, and they said, Why are you here? And I said, this is my dream. I want to be Marian in the Indiana Jones Stunt Show. And they said, No, you don't get it. So let's explain this to you. Live action shows are where people start in the stunt world, you are already working on a TV show, which is the goal and the aspiration for all stunt performers. So being part of this Indiana Jones show would actually be taking a step backwards. And it was in that moment, it was as if I could hear God say to me, whew, need to dream a little bit bigger. So. And anyone who knows me today, I'm obsessed with dreaming, and I want to help other people achieve their dreams. And that is why it was that exact moment that made me think about Goodness gracious. If we think about our lives in the dreams that we have, imagine how much bigger God's dreams for our lives actually are. It was mind blowing, to think about. And so that second audition with Indiana Jones ended up being an extremely positive experience, because they had said that, and now if you just like reverse the story, like rewind it all the way back to the beginning, you can see where God was in every single part of it. And it didn't make any sense to me, it didn't make any sense to me at all, because I didn't know why this was happening to me. And sometimes I still don't even know why. But I know that he gets all the glory for it. Because this is a god story through and through. Now whenever you hear stunt woman, you probably immediately think stunt double, which is something different. So there's a lot of different stunts that can be done in movies. And so what I've been able to do is kind of what I like to call background stunts. So nothing I'm not doubling any actress or anything like that. But it can be a variety of things. For the TV show outsiders what I ended up doing was, well, this is a little dark, but I ended up stabbing a cop in one of the scenes. But don't worry, what the actual scene was supposed to be someone's dream in the TV show, so it didn't actually portray reality whatsoever. Then, right after I got off of the outsiders TV show, I ended up getting to choreograph a bar fight scene for my friend Spencer, Fuller, the director, his movie called generational sins. And if you want to go back to the episode I did with Spencer Fillmore, he was the very first episode on this podcast. And right after my time, as a fight choreographer ended on generational sins, my shoulder pain became permanent. I got an MRI on it, and there was no tear crazy enough. But it was determined that I definitely had multi directional instability in both of my shoulders, which for the past five years, since it's 2021. Now, I have been kind of living in shoulder pain. And it is something that I actually just recently have committed to working on and improving and making stronger and fighting through the pain and going through it. Because I don't want to have weak shoulders the rest of my life. Anyways, that was a side tangent. I came off generational sins and thought, This is it. That's the end of my stunt career. But then crazy enough, three years later, November of 2019, I get a call the movie I'm your woman, which is on Amazon Prime Now came to be filmed in Pittsburgh, and I got cast as a background stunt performer in that movie, and there's actually a real quick scene. It's literally a flash you have to pause in order to see me it's fine. Not a big deal. But I basically run into the lead actress in that. So sounds can be any I have things basically stunt performers get hired, when something could be too dangerous for an extra to do, even because that could be a big lawsuit waiting to happen. So they will hire people who are willing to risk their bodies such as done performers instead. So did I'm your woman. Then two months after that, in January of 2020, I got asked to be a pedestrian in a car chase scene for the movie sweet girl, which is now on Netflix. And it was such an amazing experience. And every stunt experience I've had has been so fun. And I mean, I could literally talk about it forever. I became so insanely passionate about stunts, because what people don't realize is stunts is in art form. Like fight choreography. People have memorized those movements, and there's so much acting involved. There's different camera angles to make it look like they're getting hit and selling shots. And it is crazy. See, I'm already getting so hyped up talking about it. But I kind of don't want to bore you with that. But basically, this is my story of how I became a stunt performer, how it exceeded my wildest dreams, and how now today, every single time I get a call, I'm just unbelievably honored, and can't not thank God for giving me this crazy experience after experience and what a cool story to and so, really, I wanted to share this story to just inspire anybody out there, that whatever you're dreaming for. Dream bigger, dream bigger, like I want to actually hear what is your craziest dream ever? Even if it's illogical? I want to hear it. Seriously. I want to hear it. Because even that dream, God's dream bigger than that for you. So hey, guys, I love you so much. Seriously, I want DMS about what your biggest dream is because I want to champion you with it. And also know what one next step to make that dream a reality can be okay, guys, that's it. I love you so much. Thanks for joining me on summer stories with xo. I'll see you right back here in the next two weeks.