Hey, what's up guys? Welcome to another accidentally intentional podcast episode, I will say that I've never had a podcast start like today's. Because actually, me and my roommate Audrey, we're in the middle of a conversation. And I decided, wait a second, this conversation could actually be very beneficial for the podcast audience. So we decided to pause our Convo, bring the mics and set it up and continue with what we were talking about. And basically, today's conversation, we wanted to create a space for grace, grace for each other grace to openly discuss kind of what her faith journeys have looked like. And my roommate, Audrey got really candid talking about a myriad of things, such as what she thought faith used to be, and how her mind has now changed on it, and what faith looks like for her as well. We both talk about our Faith Journeys, and just really share our hearts. So I'm excited to bring you guys literally into this conversation today. And I hope that you find yourself encouraged by it as well, whether you consider yourself a newer believer, or someone who has been a believer and a Christian for years of your life, I think there's something for everybody in this episode. And at the end of the day, we want this to be a life giving conversation for you, as the listener, especially as a believer, we want you to be reminded that you are not alone. And that we are doing this together, we are trying to live out this life filled with faith to look more and more like Jesus every single day. So hey, guys, without further ado, let's jump into the conversation. Thank you so much for being part of it. Let's go. Audrey and I were literally in the middle of a conversation. We started crying. And I was like, hang on, we need to put this as a mic conversation because I want people to kind of hear what our hearts are all about right now. And what's making us come alive. What's making us passionate. So Audrey is my current roommate. So Audrey and I were having this conversation that started a couple weeks ago, and we kind of picked back up on it tonight. And we were talking about misconceptions we used to have about the church and faith and kind of what's making both of our hearts beat right now. So I kind of want to pick up where we just stopped before we started recording Audrey because we were having this conversation about our Faith Journeys. And so I kind of want to hear if you can share what faith used to look like for you or what you thought face faith was supposed to look like, versus what it is now for you. So growing up, I went to church every single Sunday, I was raised Lutheran, and that was what like being a good Christian was just showing up at church on Sundays. And nothing more than that. Went through confirmation got baptized, I couldn't tell you a single thing that I learned through confirmation, what it meant to be confirmed what it meant to be baptized. I had no idea I was doing it because like that was just the thing that everyone did, because their parents kind of not forced them to do it. But it was what your parents wanted. Yes, my parents. That's what I was gonna do. I wasn't going to argue with it. Yeah. And then coming my junior year of college, hitting rock bottom rediscovering my faith, I was actually shocked when I found out that there is another side of Christianity besides just showing up to church on Sundays, and opening your Bible. Like I used to think that the Bible was written like Shakespeare, and this really old language that was impossible to understand. It was basically just nonsense. Yeah. And what I found was that reading scripture is super easy. And everyone can do it. Great point. So, but there was this transition that happened for you, right where you used to be like, I don't know about those Christians are kind of weird, like you went to church out of regimen and routine. But you weren't like, oh, I want like a faith and all of a sudden, I mean, you alluded to like hitting rock bottom. But what happened? What happened that made you actually want to have faith? So I think that and this is common for a lot of Christians. You kind of aren't seeking a higher power when life's good. You hit rock bottom and actually have no other choice then to be like, Okay, what's actually missing in my life? And so I reached out to my best friend Jordan from high school, who was a believer for the past five years, and I never got it. Like I literally said to her, like, this is weird what you're doing. So you thought she was weird. You're saying yeah, and I said that to her once. She was like, told me that she was offended by that. And I was like, okay, sorry. And like now looking back on it, like putting myself in her shoes. Like I totally get it and I get why people think it's weird, but I think until you actually experience like God's love for you, you're not going to get it. And it's going to be weird. Or look weird from the outside. Because how can you understand what other Christians are believing if you haven't felt this radical change in your own life? Yeah, absolutely. So this is weird, though, because you're saying that you like made fun of her faith. But there was something so attractive to at one point that you reached out to the very same person you thought was weird. I was just like, what's going on? What is this? How can I have more of that? Right? Yeah. Like, she's just like, she just radiated, like so much love and positivity. And even though like, I would poke fun at her, but I think deep down, I was curious about it. And she would like drop little hints here, there. But like, once I asked and came to her and asked questions, she was like, alright, well, now that you're asking, like, I'm gonna let it all go. Yeah. And yeah, it was like an amazing turning point. And it doesn't happen overnight to I think it's been three and a half years since my conversation with her. And over the past six months, I felt my life radically changed, like, the best way possible. Yeah. And I've, I've literally seen that happen. Yeah, you've walked with me through like day one. I talked to Jordan. And then I joined a small group six months later, and you're my small group leader. And so that's what I want to talk about next, because it's kind of really intimidating. And I think I think you're touching on something important, right? Is that everyone has that curiosity about something? Like, why is this person in a world that looks like it's really hopeless, radiating joy? Like people are like, ads gotta grab, like, that's not reality, you know, people, people make fun of Christianity for all sorts of different reasons, which, you know, because you used to be one of those people. So it's an interesting thing, because we all are curious about something like what is actually out there? What is this human experience that we're going through? But I think along with that, you have this conversation with Jordan, and then you take a big leap? And you're like, Okay, did you start going to church? Did you start finding your own church? How did you join a small group, a small group is scary for people to join, if they don't know anybody in the small group. So I want to hear about this. Yeah. So I went to church, I think, alone for an entire year, and tried to go to different youth nights with people my age and felt like I was really putting myself out there yet somehow couldn't find community. Let me let me pause on that part. You were going to church by yourself for over a year. Yeah, what made you keep going? I just like experience, I felt Jesus when I walked into church and was like craving community. And I called my friend Jordan or husband DOM like so many times after church. And she was like, Audrey, if being a Christian was easy, everyone would do it. Like, it's going to be hard. Like, you're not just and she's like, it's a process you have to go through to find community. Yeah. And my life didn't look like I was a Christian at the time. So showing up to church on Sunday, like, that's, that doesn't make you a Christian. And until I started getting into scripture, and feeling conviction and changing different aspects of my life, how's that expecting to have community and other believers around me when I wasn't changing what I was doing throughout the week, like you can't show up to church for an hour on Sunday, and expect to leave with this huge community? Because I didn't want to give out my going out life and other social events during the week to spend time with other people at the church to get coffee. Got it? Because to me, that was like, boring. Yeah. So you're saying you didn't want to make sacrifices to change any of your lifestyle or behavior at the time. But yet you still wanted the community that a church kind of provided Correct? Yeah. Okay. Jordan tells you, hey, like faith isn't gonna be easy. And I think people understand that once they give their life to Christ, because being a Christian is very countercultural, that is opposite of the world. So your life will be more challenging because you are trying to live differently than the world is, which you hit on. So pointedly, and you said, it didn't look like I was living a Christian lifestyle. Why is living a Christian lifestyle important? Because if your actions don't back up what you're preaching, you lose a lot of credibility. And people are, I guess, in a way less likely to believe. Yeah, well, I mean, but want to trust, trust, trust is everything in any relationship. And so if it isn't aligning there, then is there a flaw in the entire Christian system of Christianity, when you're not yourself diving into scripture, yet, as a new believer, you've really just trust the people that you're listening to you And so if they're not, if their actions are aligning with what they're saying, then it's kind of like, you don't want to go further and take the next step in your faith. Yeah, no, it's such a good point. And it says in James, like, Faith without works, is dead. So that if people don't know anything about your faith, but they see how you act, that could be an experience that they have with Jesus, or like, dang, something's different, just like you were intrigued by Jordan. Here's like, I don't love everything about what I'm seeing. But there is something there and I want it right first, and then you kind of you kind of like had this experience where you fell in love with Jesus. And I want to go back to this because you said this, and you're like, I fell in love with Jesus. That's essentially what you said. And I think we can both say that we have been in phases of our life where we just have kept going to church, went through the motions felt nothing. What caused that cataclysmic turn for you, where you're just like, I felt something? What was the difference? When I started reading scripture? Really, yeah, Scripture and scripture alone. That's when I started feeling eviction about certain aspects of my life, that I was like, Oh, I'll be a Christian, but I'll never give up my sex life. Like, that'll never happen to me. I'll be a Christian, but I'm going to go have 1516 drinks out in a night with my friends from college, and feel horrible the next day, like, and like I swore to all my friends, I was like, I'm never gonna give up these aspects of my life. And then very slowly, I'm reading scripture, and going to church on Sundays, and just brought to tears. And I've never felt conviction so clearly, clearly in my life to give up these aspects of my life. And as a Christian, like, it is hard, but you never feel hopeless. I feel like as a non believer, when you're feeling down, like you feel hopeless, because, I mean, why wouldn't you feel hopeless? Where's the source of hope? Yeah, who are you looking to? Yeah, but with Jesus, like, now, my life, I'm going through a hard trial. And I'm like, Alright, I cannot wait to see what God's preparing me for, like, what next season of life, um, and like, maybe suffering now. But like, it's all part of his plan. He might be removing people from my life. But like, I cannot wait to see who's going to bring into my life next, and just having a different outlook on life. Like, yeah, I get sad some days, but I'm never at rock bottom. Like, I used to be as a non believer. And I'm challenged every day by a lot of my friends who are non believers, but I don't know. I just, no, no, I think I know what you're saying. And hopefully the audience is getting this through that. I want to go back to this conviction piece, right? Just because conviction is where it's not shame. It's not like, Oh, I'm a horrible person. Conviction is the understanding of, oh, this is something I need to work on. Because if the Bible is written for human flourishing, that means that everything laid out in it from a 10 commandments for, for instance, or just commands Jesus and God have given us Jesus giving a command to love one another is the biggest of them all. But there's all of these things that the Bible warns against. But it's not to prevent you from being happy and living your best life. It's actually to help you live a life that spares you from so much heartache, heartbreak, and trauma, I would say at the same time. And I think we both can say, in our own life experiences, we have run away from God, not ignored. Everything Scripture has said only to come falling flat on our faces back realizing, oh my gosh, that's why the Bible saying it, he was trying to protect my heart from this, this right now what I was facing. And that's the difference is because conviction helps you be like, Hey, this is an area I can work on. Because I can grow closer to God by giving up this or trusting him with this part of my life. And that's where it becomes so much sweeter. And that relationship takes place. I think a lot of people hear like, oh, being a Christian, there's so many laws and rules to follow. And that's not how either of us see it. I think we both used to see it that way. You know, I actually like no of or like I've heard of some people that actually do abide by all these rules. But they don't know what the meaning behind them is. And just because you're obeying these, quote unquote rules as a Christian, like, that's not what it is. It's to have a relationship with Christ. And so I've seen people follow all these rules and different aspects of their lives, but they're left not happy, like they're still missing something. And even though we're Christians, and we want to follow what the Bible says and feel convicted about it, like we all make mistakes and have mess ups and yeah, doesn't make us less or or greater than anyone else you're following or having these morals and values to our life. Yeah. And I think, you know, Paul articulated so well in Romans seven when he talks about how He does what he, he actually does what he doesn't want to do, and doesn't do what he actually wants to do. And that's like the human contradiction that we all have is like, we have a bend towards sin, which sin literally separates us from God sin is defined as missing the mark. So that's what separates us from God. So the reason why we want to live a life of obedience is because we want to be closer to God, we don't want that separation from Him because we love him. And I think that, that love obviously comes by learning about God, and knowing who God is. Because how can you love somebody you don't know? Right? And that's what, that's what it seems like, reading the Bible is done for you. Because you were learning the character of God, you're knowing what his voice sounds like, because you're reading the Word. And it says in John one, one, the Word was God, the Word was with God. And so literally, by reading the Bible, we have an opportunity to understand who God is, and draw near to Him, which is incorrect, incredible. So I think that's been so cool to watch, you go through that, because you are a different person today, you are a completely different person than the person I met three years ago, when you walked into our small group. And you walked into that small group, not confident, not knowing what was going to happen, just being like, I don't even know if I want to be here. And suddenly, not suddenly over, over a period of time. God did something in your heart. Yeah. I actually purposely missed small groups on topics that I didn't want to change in my life, Drew? Yeah, you did. And I think the Bible not only every time I read the Bible, I feel convicted, because I just want to be a better version of myself, like every single day. And also by reading the Bible. It's all about just protecting your heart. And the advice I can give to other people in relationships, whether it's dating or friendships, I don't know, I guess before my life, like you just like, let so many things go. But when you know how you want to be respected and treated by others, you can catch those early on. So you don't have this heartbreak. At the end of like, a year long period. No, I think what you're saying is like, you've been able to use the Bible almost like as a preventative for like, it's like directions or like a guide map, like, what do I need to avoid to make sure that I'm not hurting myself anymore, or hurting the people around me, right, so that nobody else gets the shrapnel of what I'm going through. And I think also by picking relationships that are pushing you closer to God. Being around other healthy people, you act your best, I don't want to be hanging out someone whom then going and talking about to my friends about like how much they annoy me, like, you can just easily like part ways with them. But I want to make sure I'm articulating this. So people aren't hearing this and be like, oh, so she just cut everybody else out of her life know, where it's all this, this boundary of like, what balance do I have in my life of obviously, we're not going to give up our friends that don't believe the same thing as us. Like that would be crazy. Like, it literally talks about in the Bible that Jesus hung out with people that were nothing like him. So obviously, we want to do the same, but also having an addition to that people who do pull you closer to Christ, and encourage that relationship hold you accountable, and want to see you grow, as well as let you see them grow and push them as well. Yeah, I think it's definitely important to have a healthy balance of the two in your life. Because for your non believer, friends, you might be the only time they get to experience even a little bit of Jesus, whether that's you answering questions they have when they're curious about your faith, or just living a life loving others around you that they're like, Hey, she looks really happy. Like I wonder what has changed in her life in the past couple years. Yeah. And it's happened with a couple of my friends, like actually a lot of my friends and it's how it happened with me and my friend Jordan, to we want articulate right here that we are not talking about imparting our beliefs on to non believers alike. Yes, share your faith with others. But it would be so wrong for someone to take away from this conversation. We're expecting everyone to live the way that we're living right now. Right? Because that's not that's not an accurate thing. And that's not biblical either. Because we want to have a relationship with Jesus. That's why we're pushing hard for it. That's why we're holding each other accountable. And we want the same for other believers. But that's this is completely different than like a non believer conversation. So we're focusing this conversation on why we're so passionate about all believers, anyone that attends church, falling in love with Jesus and not being the difference in their life, not just going to church. Once a week and being like, Yes, God first, yes, love Jesus, which we used to say, not fully knowing the brevity of what we were actually saying, but making Jesus not only our Savior, which happens when you accept Christ in your life, but also making Jesus Lord, meaning everything in our lives goes to him, and is under him. So, yeah, I just want to make sure I made that delineations, which I think is where we kind of want to take this conversation, because before we started recording, both of us are crying. And we were crying because we were reflecting on how we have both had experiences in our lives where we ran away from God basically spit in God's face, I think, and he didn't stop pursuing us. And the prayers that we're answered in our own lives, because of other people's prayers, is why we're both here today, why we both want a deeper relationship with God. And we're just reflecting upon what we can do better. As believers that want that relationship with Jesus, to help other people find the sweetness of Jesus. Do you think that's a fair way to say that? Yeah. And I think that one of the things we're, we're bothered by is, we were part of this too, right, is that there's literally a statistic out there that over 90%, of Bible believing Christians are not consistently reading the Bible. And have we been guilty of this? Yes. So we're saying, Where were our hearts I was breaking, because of the situation of like, where we're in this two, why are we being these? Why are we saying that the whole tenant of our Christian faith, which is the Bible, we're not really making an effort to get into, because as a result, are we getting close to God, if we're literally not reading the words he wrote for us, which stand outside of time, for all time, just what's going on right now in the world, and the stigma around Christianity, and how Christians are acting, it can be like hypocritical at times that we are preaching love, and all these other things, but not actually showing love to those around us. And a lot of my friends have brought up to me, or Audrey wire, Christians doing this and XYZ, like their actions and the things they're saying, are kind of like, upsetting to other people. And I'm like, I 110% agree with you. And the more I've gone to read the Bible, the more I've realized that everything they're doing does not align with the word. And we've been both been guilty of doing those things as well before, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. And so I think, I mean, that's just why it's so important to be getting into the word, honestly, as much as possible, because it's reality check. Every time I read the Bible, I'm like, wow, I probably should have acted that way earlier this week. And I think it just if more Christians were reading the Word, we'd be able to be better people at the end of the day and portray Christianity in the way that Jesus wanted it to be portrayed. So good. No, I think that I think that's so true. And everyone's so offended all the time, right? Christians are like, I think just as bad, if not worse at this than anybody else. Like, first off, whatever the world is doing. The world should not offend you. We are not part of the world. Like, I'm super passionate about this, because I'm so sick of believers, or people who claim the name of Jesus to literally try and push their own beliefs upon other people. And being like, oh, that's, I'm offended. That's not biblical. Like, it's just like, What the heck they're not. They're not interested in faith, like, why should why would they be doing something that is biblical, that's nonsensical to me. If someone like talked down to me in that way, when I was first discovering my faith, and pointed out every part of my life that didn't align with the word that I wasn't ready to give up, I would have walked the other way and never found Jesus. So to treat other people like that, or to call out other people's flaws. First of all, it's not biblical, as I've learned by reading the Bible. Yeah. But it's just like it's discouraging to non believers or new Christians. And I think it's just really important to welcome them with open and loving arms and we're not perfect if you're casting judgment on someone else. You need to check yourself first. Also. Yeah, as it says the Scripture. Yep. Yep. You know, I'll never forget as a side note, you know exactly what there was a night where you were pretty frustrated. I don't even know what it was. But it was exactly like a year ago today and Uh, you were just like, Dude, I'm so sick of everything in my life. Obviously, I'm paraphrasing how you felt. But I literally said to you, I think it's time to get in the Word. And you're like, I don't want to do that stupid. I feel like crap. Like, I don't want to do anything. And all of a sudden, you just, like, started reading scripture and texted me. I said, I said, Dude, this is actually the best book I've ever read in my entire life. But yeah, and, and like I did a podcast episode a couple of weeks ago, I'll link it below and above, but on how to read the Bible with in a non intimidating way to understand how to read the Bible and actually enjoy it. And like we talked about this before. And you were like, wait, I love the Bible. And that's what I think people aren't getting as they think it's like so ancient, but scripture is God breathed. So it doesn't matter when it was written, because God who lives outside of time wrote it for all time, right? So what's written in the Bible is for us, still to this day, is I think what it comes down to. And so when you're like, in Matthew, I know that's the book you were reading here. And you're like, wait a second, wait a second. Like, this is actually great advice. This is great advice for my life, I feel more peace. That's what we were talking about. Two is that there hasn't been a time. I don't think either of us have opened the Bible. And we have not left with less anxiety after reading the Bible. And I've yet I've even tested it as having again anxiety tag two weeks ago, and open up the Bible as a guild See, this actually works. I, oh, my god, he was gone. 20 minutes in the word. Yeah. And I was like, grounded again, I wasn't going to act based off of emotion like I was going to prior to opening up my Bible, right? So anyone's wondering, I proved it pro tip, pro tip for anxiety, getting the word because I mean, you get to spend time with the Prince of Peace. When you do that, we're seeing that there is a disconnect for a lot of believers, our hearts were grieved by our own actions and how we're just living one way, and it's not consistent with what we're believing and what we're, we're sharing with other people all the time when we want it to be right. And so why do you think someone should want a relationship with God and want faith? I just I just want to hear from your own experience. Why? Because you would have asked yourself that question like, Why do I want this? And what do you think went through your headspace to make the kind of the conclusion? Yeah, I want to have a faith. I don't think that any response I would give would be like, would persuade someone enough to actually want to dig into their faith, I think that it's something you have to feel and go through on your own. But to put into words, my own experience with it, just believing in something greater than yourself and living for something greater than yourself. And once you understand how, like Jesus died on the cross to forgive all of your sins, therefore, who do you think you are to not forgive those around you, and to treat those around you with kindness and love? And I'm not this perfect Christian, every single day of my life, to just have a Bible and be able to open it up and read it and have it holds you accountable for how you're treating those around you. And you just have hope, and you have faith. And you just trust. You found a purpose. Yeah, yeah. Because, yep. No, that's exactly it. I would like to ask anyone out there who's like, I guess. Just everyone in general. Like, yeah, what is your purpose? Because before being a believer, I didn't have a purpose. I used to joke with my saying used to be like, yeah, life sucks, and you die. And like, everyone around me would laugh. And I'd be like, Oh, but actually, like, what's the purpose of life? I would always talk about this. Like, guys, we just work for 50 years, and we die. Like how awful is that? And so I've actually found a purpose in life. And I trust God in that I trust God in my future. And every decision I make in my life, I pray over it. And so yeah, I have a purpose. And I know the way I'm living my life is for something bigger than what I am. Yeah. And, and I mean, like even you mentioning, like, you pray about every decision, like, you have a friend you can go to at any time. Like literally there is not a single person on this earth that you can rely to always be there for you. Except Christ. Yeah. And you always will be and that sounds like super wack. Yeah. To anyone who hasn't experienced Christ. Yeah. And all I have to say is once you feel Jesus act in your life one time like, you'll never second guess it again. It's just something really hard to explain. and to other people who haven't experienced it themselves yet. Yeah. And correct me if I'm wrong, but the experience that you had with Christ or or just knowing that he was working in your life was when you started to just test it and start trusting him with things. Were like, hey, I need you to come through on this. And waited and and did your part and in Washington happen, right? Yeah. But I actually went against him for like the first two years of my faith. What does that mean? I've just all my actions that I did, didn't. I knew they were weren't for my best interest. And I mean, they weren't biblical. And as soon as I started listening to my convictions, even if they were super little, I started noticing big changes that he made in my life. But how can you expect to not change any aspect of your life start to become a believer, and you're like, oh, God's not acting. Like I didn't want him to act my life for two years, I didn't want to give up my past. Because when you become a Christian and give your life to Christ, it's supposed to radically change. But I think at the end of the day, what I realized was, you don't really get to have much of an opinion when reading the Bible. An opinion on Well, I don't like that one thing, so I'm gonna ignore that. Because I did that for a couple years. And God didn't start to bless my life in these different areas until I actually give everything to him. Yes. And that's a hard pill to swallow. So good. Yeah. Be like. I don't like that, though. Right? God's like, too bad. I didn't ask for your opinion when I wrote the right. Thanks. Thanks so much for your opinion. But since I created you, I know you better than yourself. So. But thanks for the suggestion in the suggestion box. Yeah. Yeah, but no, I think that's the hardest part because our, our human bend is not is not towards that. So we're coming against everything that that's ingrained in us, is our quote, unquote, fallen nature to use a heady term just basically being like, being of the world and not and not living, like, Yes, I mean, like fighting your flesh every single day, correct. And to speak to that, like, as you were talking about that, I was reminded of the verse Romans eight, eight, I believe, which says, those of the flesh cannot please God. And the first time I read that verse, I was like, knocked all the way back. Because I was like, wait a whole second. Like, if I'm choosing to do things that satisfy my flesh, it's literally saying it's coming in direct conflict with God. Because it's like choosing your desires, over God's desires for you. And that's heavy man. And that's heavy. And that's why we were crying, because we want everyone to understand how much God loves you. And that's why he literally wrote this book for us, and that he is pursuing you, and wants this relationship with you. And it's on us, do we want the relationship with him? I mean, we've said how many times though this episode, you and I, in our own ways, ran away from God. And he kept chasing us down, and he's doing that with every single person. But Will there be Will there be a breaking point where it's a, a willingness to receive and also fully surrender everything in your life, trusting that what God has for you, is better than any life you could create for yourself? I think. And I feel like people use this comparison a lot like a father with their children, like taking away their little toy from them. Little do they know that they could choke and die from it, but he knows what's best for you in the end. And that's how God is with us in these quote, unquote, different things that we don't want to surrender to Him. But just with like fighting, fighting your flesh, like it's so easy to snap on someone, one of my good friends works for hospitals going in there and the intern was an hour and a half late to work. And he was really mad. And was he was like, outgoing in there ready to rip this kid new one, like, and he goes to the head doctor, and it's talking to her and she's like, why is he had breakfast? He's like, I don't know. And she's like, given this granola bar, when someone wakes up late, they don't have time to eat breakfast, make sure he's not hungry. And he was like, I took a step back and realize, like, we need to have grace for people. We need to put other people's feelings before around and he's like, my boss that day taught me so much. Like I bet it when you wake up late, you know you're late. And so to have someone to pray To be such grace and be like, Hey, did you eat breakfast? Yeah. And that's just like, it's so easy to be just be so angry, but to just put someone else first is that's all Christ ever wanted us to do was care for one another more than we care for ourselves. That's, that's such a good example. And yeah, that's exactly what it supposed to look like. And I think I want to ask you, because you and I obviously have had a lot of conversations about this, which the audience wouldn't know about yet. But I've been in your life for three years, right? So we've, we've seen a lot together, you have shared a couple warnings of like what not to do, right? And that we should show grace. But what did that? What are areas where it was done, incorrectly, and where it was done correctly, in a way that the response made you actually want Jesus more because of how someone's actions were like, I'm trying to picture being the person who's just like, Okay, I'm really inspired by this episode. And I want to be the type of believer that reflects Jesus love to other believers. How do I do it? I guess how not to do it. I've had friends in my past, asked me questions about my faith while I'm waiting till marriage, and other things. And I've snapped, I think because I felt insecure about waiting till marriage because I felt that's like the topic of the of the room when I leave with some of my friends in the past. And they actually handled it in a great way. And they're like, Audrey, we're just trying to understand you better, like, we are no way attacking you like, why are you getting defensive? Wow. And I don't think many people would handle him that way. Because I snapped and was like, Why are you attacking me? Like, I'm always defending myself. And they're like, we just want to get to know you better. So we can support you. And be the best friends possible to you. But I think just being confident in your faith and answering people's questions with, like, Just be calm, and answer them honest, honestly. And don't go any don't go into any more depth than what they asked for. Don't need to try to like, convince them to be right, a Christian and submit themselves to Christ. Yes. When they ask about one aspect of your life, answer it. And then if they want to ask more, continue to answer it. But I think you just need to leave the ball in their court. Yeah, absolutely. Talk about your faith openly. But don't be pushy, or shut down other people's throats. Like that's not going to bring anyone to Christ, if someone was in your face about how you need to convert to this religion, like, no one's gonna listen to you. But if they just, I think if you show by example, how you live your life, how you love others, people will be intrigued on their own. And they're going to ask you questions and be like, hey, what has changed about your life? Yes. And I know that because it's happened to me. Yes. With a lot of my friends. Yeah. And that's what's the interesting dichotomy here is because like, eternity is real. But at the same time, you know, I think about how in Jesus three years of ministry on earth, he never ran anywhere. And we're so quick all the time, quick to assume quick to get offended, quick to, like, share everything about it instead of just walking at the pace of grace, almost which Jesus was at, have conversations and, and as you're alluding to, is like having these conversations with people and answering it for yourself. And sometimes you could be like, listen, like, this is what the Bible says, I don't really know yet. But I'm willing to do it, even if I don't have a full understanding in the meantime, because that rattles people, right? Because you're saying, you're, you're showing humility, like, I don't have all the answers, but I want to find them because I want to do whatever it takes to have this relationship. And also, I did a conversation with my brother on how to have conversations about your faith with people who don't agree. So I'll link that below as well, because that's a helpful resource for this. But every conversation I've had with, like friends and family that have had questions about my faith, almost every single one, after leaving that conversation have been like, Wow, thank you for like talking to me about that. I have a lot different view on Christians, after sitting down and talking to you. Because the way it's portrayed online and on social media, makes him seem like very hateful people. And I'm like, Hey, I'm not saying you shouldn't have the viewpoint because I see those people. And it makes me angry too. But I'm just happy that we were both able to like have an open conversation and hear each other out because you're only seeing the radical side to everything to every whether it's political party religion, you're only seeing those outspoken and in my opinion, rude people on social media, you're not seeing them ones that are actually like, respectful. Yeah. And, and can we just like put a call to action right here? Can we all stop with the blanket statements? Like we're also guilty of it? Like, not all believers are this not all non believers are this not all you put you name it, you know, and we have to get past this and see the humanity before us or else we're all gonna miss it every single time. And I think that's such a good point is because like, people were watching you, you didn't know it but people were watching you because they're like, your actions actually weren't the same as they were before. Now we're curious, now you have an opening to have a conversation about your faith, not trying to get in a debate, not trying to push someone or try and convert them as much as answer the questions and have a conversation. And the gift that it was to both parties to be like, Man, there's civil conversations out there. I learned a lot about her period, she learned a lot about me. Like, we have to be willing to let others be curious and be curious ourselves. That's where deep connection happens. Yeah, that also being said, not every conversation is going to go that way. Right? In a good way. And I think it's important to, because this hasn't been the case for me at all times. But to just be able to like control your emotions, and be okay with someone disagreeing with you. Like, I get really upset if someone like challenges me too far has questions that I can't answer, like, it's okay to say, hey, it's a great question. And I don't have the answer for it. Right? Rather than in the past, I've definitely learned tantrum about it. I'm like, Oh, you got me there. Like, I don't know how to answer that question. But most of the time, these people asking these questions have really good intentions are actually just curious. Yeah. It's like, hey, that is way above my knowledge. But I'd love to look into it more and continue this conversation. And if that's something you're interested in right now, absolutely. Instead of shutting down, like breaking away from having a mature and conversation where you both respect each other. Yeah, no, that's such a good point. So now, on the flip side of that, we talked about what was done wrong. What are some things that believers did right? When it came to you, just kind of dipping your toes in the water with having a faith and learning how to grow that faith? I mean, unfortunately, I don't think it's easy. And as believers, we all need to take accountability for it. But getting plugged into small group and getting to know people one on one. And having like a mentor, relationship is where I found the biggest change for me. I think when really diving into a relationship with other believers, I found it hardest to just form a relationship based on shared religion. I need something more than that. We have anything in common do our personalities align? Yeah. So the first person that I found that was like, a weirdo crazy, outgoing, I was like, Yeah, I want, I want to hear about your journey with faith. Because from my perspective, from an outsider was, all Christians are like, super boring, and like, really quiet, which is not the case. That's just a stereotype. So I think the biggest difference it made in the mentor had was, I never felt judged for where I was on my faith. And I was very aware that I had a long way to go. But in a certain aspects of my life that I wasn't ready to give up yet. I never felt pressured. Or they were never brought up without me bringing them up personally. And just having someone be patient with you, and getting you into the Word. And for me personally, that's the biggest thing. Like, once you get someone in Scripture, those convictions will come on their own. If you can just get people to read the Bible, understand how much Jesus loves you. Your job there is done. Like scripture will do the rest. Yep, the Holy Spirit will will connect. Yeah, no, that's such a good word. And I think, I think a couple things to say about it is like, you're using the word mentor, but like if someone's just like, I don't, I don't know how to find a mentor. Like I consider myself like a newer Christian. Like, what's this about? What would you say? I think now that I have progressed in my faith. I think it's just finding like a Christ centered friendship. I think that any friend you have that's a believer will point you towards scripture. As soon as you come to them with an issue or a problem. I think when you're first coming into your faith, you're aware of the different aspects of your life that don't align With this faith that you're striving, or like running after, and I think someone pointing out those flaws in your life is really discouraging, as a young believer, as a young believer, and would have turned me away from my faith, like, actually snap my fingers. If someone would have called it out, I would have been like, this isn't for me at one nothing to do with it. Because coming into it, I was like, I'm not giving up these aspects of my life. Like, you can't change my mind. Yeah. And just not having anyone comment on those parts of my life that hadn't changed yet. And encouraging me to get into scripture, me feeling those convictions on my own, and them encouraging me when I would mess up, or I'd come to them Be like, Hey, I did this and and being like, hey, that's totally okay. Like, what can we do to fix that for next time? And never feeling shame? Yeah. Or almost the whole, like, you know what, and there's grace for that. Yeah. What can we do to set up what's necessary next time to prevent it moving forward? I think people inside the church don't hold each other accountable. There it is for how they treat others. Yet, we're so quick to try to, to comment on how non believers are living their lives and to act and say hateful and hurtful things to them. But where's that accountability inside the church for why we aren't following what the Word says? Yes, absolutely. No, that's, that's such a good point. So I want to talk about this, because people could be getting possibly confused. So I just want to make sure we're clarifying. So whenever you're saying a baby Christian, is that parallel in your mind to basically not a believer? Like, does believer in your mind stand as I'm someone who is literally adhering to what are trying to obey what the Bible set out? For me? I think being a believer is understanding what the Bible says, and taking the steps to surrender every part of your life to it. I think maybe being a baby believer is KNOWING JESUS wanting to run after him. haven't yet had the courage or conviction yet to give up these aspects of your life that you're still holding on to so you don't trust them. 100% yet, but great, you're on your way to figuring that out. Yeah. And so accountability is a huge piece of your life right? Now, you actually actively ask for accountability. And I think, if I remember correctly with the mentorship, it had started with you just kind of confessing what happened, which actually, like it says in Luke, like, confess your sins to one another. And the reason it says it is because the moment you bring something into the light, it loses a lot of its power. And it's not hidden anymore, which I would recommend everyone digging into that and look on their own to read the full understanding of it. But now, there's a switch or server for you and you want to be held accountable. What happened? Where did you suddenly go from like, Yo, don't talk to me like that. I'm trying to figure this out. And I will leave this behind, if you treat me this way. Versus No, literally, I want to know everything that can grow closer to God, call it all out. Um, so it's actually a year long transition from me, going to my mentor being like, I made this decision, and I feel really guilty about it, and blah, blah, blah, receiving advice from them, and then going away for a couple of weeks, and then coming back in tears like, I did this again. And again, I was started reading scripture and Matthew, it talks about accountability. And I think my mentor actually might have mentioned it like, so do you want to be proactive about this? Or do you just want me to listen, like, they kind of asked me how I want them to be giving feedback. And I was like, Yeah, I do want you to hold me accountable. Actually, like I didn't even know that was a thing until now. And basically what you were referring to and that scenario is I think you were saying, like the question was, well, are you just gonna keep coming to me after this happens? Or do you want to set up something where you can be helped before it happens again? Yeah, right. Yeah. And I think it's really important. I mean, whatever relationship you're in, to ask before giving advice, like, do you want me to hold you accountable? Do you want me to just listen to you right now? Like, to me to give you advice, and I would never, even right now, I would never hold any of my friends accountable to something that they messed up in. Unless they come to me and are like, hey, Audrey, I'm struggling with this. I want you to hold me accountable and be hard on me. Yeah, I think the difference that I've just learned throughout my own experience and watching others is that believers who want to actively grow in their faith welcome accountability. They, because they're like I want to grow. And I think that is also where a delineation isn't. And quite honestly, I think we can both openly say it that we believe you. And I believe that all Bible believing Christians should want accountability. Because that's where the relationship really becomes real and in your walk with God is taken to a new level, is that fair to say? Yeah, I've actually even had my non believer friends hold me accountable without me asking well, because they know how much certain aspects of my life mean to me, and how I'm adjusting my life in those areas to protect my heart more, because my faith is so important to me. And so on multiple occasions, I have had my non believer friends be like, before I'm about to do something be like, hey, but does this align with what you want to do? Because I know last time you did this made you really upset. So I just want to make sure. And so while I think it, yeah, believe it a believer, that's definitely a thing too. But I think in any friendship, holding each other accountable in a healthy way. It's normal. It's important. Yeah. And I know that they came from, like, they love me. And that's why they did it. And it wasn't coming from a place of judgment at all. And I think judgment and accountability can be similar. Fine Line. Yeah, you need to be very careful to make sure you're loving someone when holding them accountable. And I think you have to know you have to know someone's heart and believe that their intentions are actually for you. Yeah, I mean, I feel like someone like you, I'd just be like super blunt. If I wanted to tell you something that like bothered me, yeah. But someone else doesn't really know me, and maybe have like a huge 30 minute conversation just to like they fully understand you to watch how you deliver accountability to the different people in your life. I think this has been a really good conversation. And I'm glad we were miked up for it. Because we're just speaking candidly, from our hearts, we want to do whatever we can to help the people in our lives in around us in their own Faith Journeys as well, because it's not easy. And it's not easy to find people that will run the race alongside of you. But that being said, it doesn't mean you can't and it doesn't mean you should give up because there are people out here, Adrienne are perfect examples of that. And we want to help everyone around us because people helped us. You know, many times I've just mentioned in a group of people that I was like going to church on Sunday. And how many people messaged me privately afterwards and was like, Hey, can I go with you to church? Is that all took? Like, yeah, of course you can. And I mean, I encourage anyone that's listening, if someone's posting on their Instagram story or anything about going to church on Sunday, like message them and asked to go, we would love to have you. Yeah, and it's not weird at all. That's how I did it. First, I split up on someone's Instagram story from church. And yeah, sowed them at church. And it was awesome. And they're super great about it. Yeah. And so and so if you were listening to all of this, and you're thinking, Okay, this is actually really cool. First off, thank you so much for listening. But secondly, like, you can reach out to Audrina, we'd love to discuss our faith with you and we want, that's what I'm saying is we want to run this race alongside of the people, we want to walk alongside with you because we're also much better together. And, quite frankly, that is what we are called to do as believers is be in community together with one another. And so this whole episode was really to just be an encouragement to you. If you're out there, and you're like, dang, I felt a lot of things listening to it. That's okay. That's okay. You're gonna feel a lot of things. On your on your walk with Christ. And if you've experienced church, or Yeah, because I experienced your church, my first few years of going to church alone. Like I didn't really make one friend my first two years, and that's normal. But I want to encourage you to not let it ruin your journey with Christ. Come on, because again, it's not. That's a blanket statement to be like, oh, yeah, give up. No, don't, don't give up on the church, because God's not giving up on any of us. And like, there's opportunities out there. God can restore anything and everything. And the craziest part about it is he uses broken people to sometimes do it. So yeah. I love you. Love you too.