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Welcome back to another accidentally intentional podcast episode, guys, I have had a wild and extremely exciting past two weeks of my life. And I'm going to share it all with you today and explain why it's so important and what I'm gonna be doing the next two weeks of my life as well. So let's get into it, storytime to start it off. So back in April of this year, I had an amazing opportunity come my way. And essentially, this opportunity was a chance to audition for a job that would very much changed my entire life forever. And I'm not gonna share a lot about it, except to say that the audition was back in April, I flew to a different state, for it had the audition. And I was putting a lot of weight in this opportunity. Because, as I said, it could change my life. So to say that I was nervous was quite an understatement. I felt like everything was hanging in the balance based upon how I would do in this audition, there were three parts to the audition. And one of the pieces of that audition was to give a five minute talk in front of a group of people and a camera. So one of the big lessons I felt like I've learned in 2021, was learning how to drop a fence. And that taking a fence is literally a choice that you can choose to make. And I'll actually be releasing this talk in the next couple of weeks on the podcast for all of you to hear. But here is what happened in this audition in April. I freaked out, I choked, as they would say, and said my talk so fast, that by the time I ended, I had cut 30 seconds out of the talk, not because I forgot things, but because I was talking that fast, apparently auctioneer level fast. Which means the audition for me was butchered at that point. And I was absolutely crushed. Because I thought this could be it. For me. I think another part of why I was so nervous is because I hadn't spoken on a stage presenting any sort of talk for three years at that point. So part of me was wondering if I was still capable. And of course, those questions doubled down after I butchered the audition, wondering, is it too late? Am I a fraud? Can I actually do this anymore? What what are you doing, you're not in the right lane anymore, you know, all those kinds of thoughts that we can have and get in that impostor syndrome kind of mode. So I had to grieve the fact that that dream for me was over. But then a couple months later, I got invited by Ramsey solution, which is a Dave Ramsey company to come down in November of 2021. For an influencer event, where basically for three days straight, the Ramsey team would pour into influencers that they found all across the nation who are passionate about a certain message and inviting them all together to learn from Ramsay and their best practices so that these influencers, in turn could transform their brands and impact in touch more lives. And that event now happened two weeks ago as the time of this recording. But here's the catch for this event. All influencers were required to come to the event prepared to give a five minute talk, whoa, here we go. The nerves are back again, just like that. Because these baby talks have seemed to be the bane of my existence. So I had to decide if I wanted to face my fears or not. And I decided, starting to face my fears, and keep trying and get up. Again, as I found out more information about the event prior, I knew that every influencer there would need to give a five minute talk and that everyone at the event would present their talk to the other influencers in their group. And then at the end of that all the influencers would get to vote on their favorite talk for the group, who would then move forward and represent them on the main stage at the Ramsey influencer event for what they call a speaker off. Now from the moment I found out that there was going to be a speaker off, I decided not only am I going to go for this and try and face my fears, my one goal is to make it to finals to get to the mainstage to prove to myself that I can in fact steal public speak. So I go down to the event two weeks ago, would you believe that we get broken up into small groups, I give my talk. My group loved it and actually voted me forward and on to the main stage for the speak off event where you would present to all of the influencers and the entire Ramsey Solutions team. And you know what was awesome about this moment is because I had nothing to lose. I wasn't there for any audition, I was there to learn and grow, and just face my fears and remind myself that it was time to rise again. So I gave my talk. And it was so well received by the entire audience. And I'm so grateful for the incredible opportunity it was to be even able to attend the event, be invited to it, and then just be poured into by the Ramsey team, like I was, and all the connections and new friends I got to make, man, it was just incredible. But here's the best part. Okay, you guys get to hear the talk that I gave. Yes, I wanted to give it to you, the accidentally intentional audience first, because you're my people. And you are the ones that inspired my talk. Because I want this podcast to be about teaching all of us together, how to build relational wealth. And with that being said, and without further ado, I present to you my new five minute talk. I'm 20 years old. I'm a sophomore in college. And I have just had an explosive, best friend breakup. So explosive that I don't even know where to start, except that I will say this, I didn't really diversify my relational portfolio in college. So I put all my eggs in one basket. And that basket is all the way out the window. Meaning that I need to face my new reality that I have no true friends. And I obviously wanted to change that. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I've got it. I decide to embark on this audacious New Year's resolution to eat a meal with someone different every single day on my college campus and get to know their story. No, it was definitely awkward at first, let me set the scene for you. Imagine you're sitting down to eat with me. And in case there's dead space or dead air happening. I whip out a note card that has a que question on it. Just because I'm so afraid of silence to be like, what's your favorite movie like I was such a dunce It was bad. But thankfully, I got a little bit more comfortable as I continued to do it. And by the time I graduated college, two and a half years later, I had kept up with his daily tradition and gotten over 250 meals with different people on campus. And it was one of the most transformative experiences of my entire life. Because what started as an accident, realizing that I had no friends turned into this intentional practice that I like to call today of building relational wealth. I like to say that relationships are the original cryptocurrency. Now I know that sounds strange, but hear me out. What's the one thing that relationships and crypto have in common. They're both risky as all get out, because you could go all in on crypto, and still lose it all. And in the same way, you could go all in on a new relationship or friendship and still end up heartbroken, betrayed, lonely, you name it. But you know what also can happen. You can go all in and earn the friendship that you've literally been praying for your entire life. So today, I want to share with you three steps I have learned to take in order to build relational wealth with other people. Step one, embody and become the friend that you've always wanted. Yeah, you know, the friend that always gets invited to parties. Or maybe it's the friend that is always there for you are just always there to pray for you. That's the kind of friend I want. No, sometimes when people hear this, they say, Wait a second. It sounds like you're telling me that I need invite and ask all these people to hang out with me. Yeah, that's correct. In fact, still to this day, over 10 years later, I invite people to hang out with me 90% of the time. Does that make me desperate? No. It makes us intentional. So it's important to frame it as such. Step two, ask the type of questions that beg the wow, I need to think about that type of response. For instance, my favorite question to ask people when I meet them is what is your biggest passion? Because it usually makes their eyes light up and I can just see what sets their soul on fire. I will say though, the weirdest response I've ever had to this question was when I asked this girl What's your biggest passion and she immediately said chocolate. What? Now upon further investigation, she was not violet Beauregard, from Willy Wonka, but her dad was in fact a chocolate tear. So context is key. And three, give people permission to hold your trust. Just by being vulnerable first, I always like to think of this visual of the Western duels where it's like, whoever shoots first wins. Now, obviously very dramatic, but the concept is the same, it's because whenever you give someone permission to hold your trust, they can take it and drop it like it's hot. Or in the same way, they can take it, hold space for it, and give you theirs in return. So that's what I'm talking about. Relationships are risky. There's this quote by CS Lewis that says, To love deeply means that you could get hurt badly. But it's still worth it. So now it's time for all of us to take inventory of our relational wealth. If we pulled out that relational account statement. What does yours look like? Is it looking a little low, a little depleted in the red, as they say? Or is it looking really good looking really strong up into the right? I mean, I openly tell people that I am relationally rich, because I have the most incredible, devout friendships and relationships on the planet. And I want that for all of you to in fact, better yet. Here's my call to action for all of us. Let's become this different type of rich, together. All right. And that's my new talk. Hope you enjoyed it. And I hope you actually take some of the steps in there and use it in your own life as we begin to build new friendships, new relationships, especially into this new year, new year, new friendships who this oh my gosh, I'm crazy. But no really, guys, this is my heartbeat. My deepest desire is to help everyone build relationships that are meaningful and have deep connection because we are absolutely created for connection. And also, I would love to get a virtual meal date, or at least virtual coffee with you. And I'm so serious about this. So I'm going to share more about this on my instagram at the beginning of the year, because it's time to break the fourth wall and get to know the people whose earbuds I'm in. Now, the reason I actually did this episode today's because by the time you're listening to this episode, I'll be recovering from a surgery, which will be a recovery over the next couple of weeks. So we're gonna have a short winter hiatus, and I intend to pick back up at the end of December. And of course, we start strong again in January. So guys, please feel free to connect with me on Instagram. That's the main way I connect with people. I love you so much. I believe in you. I am rooting for your relational wealth like you can't even believe and I'm grateful I get to play any part of it at all. So thank you guys. We will chat so soon. I miss you already. I love you. Peace out